Tila humihinto ang aking panahon
Walang naririnig kundi huni ng ibong umaawit
Dinadala ng ihip ng hangin.
You peek into the room, head only, the rest of you still behind the door, checking to make sure it’s ok to enter. He sees you peek and he laughs, as if to an inside joke you unintentionally made. It warms your heart, and your mind freezes the moment for just a second. Long enough to save it there for a few weeks… oh, who are you kidding? That moment will probably play on repeat for years, maybe even forever.
Tila gumagandang lalo ang mga rosas
Sabay-sabay silang sumasayaw sa hampas ng hanging
Dumadampi at bumubulong sa ‘yo.
You are talking to someone else so you get momentarily distracted from being distracted by him. He is probably relieved you are not talking to him instead. As you are leaving, you thank everyone in the room. He says, “Thank you, Marchae.” For what, he doesn’t really elaborate. You assume realistically that it’s for coming to see them. But you belatedly, self-deprecatingly, think maybe it’s for not forcing him to talk to you. 😅
And yet the unspoken words are as loud to you as the spoken ones. You fill in the blanks and feed your delusions, like maybe you’ve done something so extraordinary and you’re so special to deserve that sweet sincerity in his smile and his eyes. But of course, deep down, you know he’s just genuinely kind. And you love him even more.
Tila ngumingiti ang araw sa umaga
Mga paru-paro’y naglalaro sa hampas ng hanging
Dumadampi at bumubulong sa ‘yo.
Another night, you come to see them again. Because of some comments that night from others, you are feeling rather insecure about how you look - you look fat, your hair has a mind of its own, etc. You want to take a photo with the group but these feelings of insecurities want you to take a backseat. You ask anyway because it will be a while before you see them again, and besides, all five of them are there, you don’t want to miss the chance. As the picture is about to be taken, he moves from one side to stand closer to you, feeding your delusions some more, but making you feel so much better also.
As you turn to say goodbye to them as a group, he is suddenly right in front of you (wishful thinking fuels your mind to suppose, to hope this is exactly why he moved), and he gives you a hug. Tight. Warm. Heartfelt. Not a conservative barely-touching-and-a-pat-on-the-back hug. A proper hug like he’s really sorry to see you go and will miss you a lot hug. You hang on like it’s Armageddon and there’s no tomorrow, and maybe just a beat too long. 😅 You leave before your fantasies take over your reality and you make a fool of yourself.
But not before you commit that moment to memory; a moment that will live rent free in your mind for who knows how long.
Tila will always make you smile and think of him from now on.
Ohhh naririnig mo bang bulong ng puso ko
Ohhh binubulong ng hangin sa ‘yo
Sana nga ito ay marinig
Binubulong ng hangin ang laman nitong dibdib.
