Luntian

When I heard about Side A’s Green EP with all Tagalog/Filipino songs, I thought, well, why not write about said EP in Tagalog as well? Apparently, because it turns out I am not very good in expressing myself purely in Tagalog... that's why not.

I started writing an intro, and it turned into this whole other thing. I got sidetracked so bad, I had to hop on an airplane to get right back on track -- that is, I had a good chat with Ned (a genuine pleasure, always! And yes, I am perfectly aware of how privileged that sounds. And no, I do not and will not ever take that for granted.) and he said, they "don't really like resting on their laurels, and are always thinking of ways to keep the band and their music moving forward." And that's how, long story short, this all original all Filipino album/EP came into being.

Released exclusively on vinyl and sold (mostly) only at their live gigs, it is their unique way of showing appreciation and gratitude to their loyal supporters (and, I hope, of potentially meeting new ones) - because if you want a copy, you have to come meet them and see them perform live to get it. Can’t get any more personal and closer than that. 

But why the color green, I asked. Because green is the color of renewal and rebirth and growth, apt for releasing the EP when the last album released by Side A on vinyl was the Blue album. The last full album they released was Only 1 in 2009. So yeah, green is perfect. 💚

A little fun fact about the cover, and I learned this on a video that my sister recorded and sent to me during the EP launch event - each of the shapes we see on the cover represent each of the band members. The two rectangles in the background are Naldy and Ernie, ang mga haligi, standing tall and resilient through the years; Yubs the circle in the center to represent the face of the band, bravely meeting fate head-on; and Ned and Leevon the two squares on the side like wings or fins keeping the ship stable.

I think about all that thought and love (and maybe some sweat, blood, and tears) that they put into making this EP, and then I think, how the heck do I write something that will give all of that the credit it deserves? Ngunit, subalit paano? 😆

Ang ninanais ko lang naman ay mabigyan ng katugmang pagpapahalaga at akmang kapurihan na karapat-dapat ang EP na ito. Pero ikinalulungkot ko na sadyang kulang ang aking kaalaman at kakahayan para gawin ito ng tama, gusto ko man, na ganap sa ating sariling wika. Sa halip, hayaan ninyo akong ipahiwatig ang aking mga saloobin at mga iniisip ukol sa mga awit ng Green EP ng Side A sa pamamagitan ng mga bantas (punctuation marks), and in Taglish dahil yun lang po ang keri ko. 😅

Hanggang Kailan

(? o tandang pananong)

The strong bass and drums intro is as loud as the frustration that comes with the uncertainties of the early stages of a romantic relationship - the ligawan stage, if that's still a thing now.

"mahirap kalimutan, mahirap tanggapin, mahirap ang alipin sa damdamin"

That giddy hopeful feeling of being in love, of wanting to let go and let the feelings take over you, while just a teensy bit scared of being hurt. With all things new, comes the insecurity that this love might be unrequited after all.

"Di ko na maisip kung ano ang gagawin; pwede ba sabihin mo???"

Opo, ganyan kadaming question marks sa lyrics. And especially with all five of them singing, in perfect harmony if I might add, "hanggang kailan? hanggang saan?", dumadagundong ang mga tandang pananong sa awitin, loud and ironically very clear. 😁

Diwata

("" or panipi - ginagamit sa pagkulong ng mga salitang banyaga o ng mga feelings 😇)

I think that we all have that someone in our lives. The "dream". The one you’re happy to just put on a pedestal, the man/woman of your dreams, the best you never had. After all, if they're up there, they can only feed your fantasies and delusions; they cannot reach you and hurt you.

"Ang kanyang haplos at ang kanyang mga halik, dalangin ko, sana pagpikit ko'y bumalik."

Yet there's something sadly unconditional about this too. You adore them, but you don't really expect or want anything in return; you're perfectly happy to just be in the same realm, kahit ito'y sa panaginip lamang.

"Sya, sya ang aking liwanag sa dilim."

Sa kadiliman ng buhay, minsan ang kailangan mo lang naman ay ang makaramdam ng kakaunting pag-asa. Hope springs eternal. Walang masama at libre nga naman ang mangarap, ika nga. 🤗

Sayang Lang

(! o tandang padamdam - ginagamit para tapusin ang pangungusap na nagsasaad ng matindi or masidhing damdamin)

I swear, they pick the most heartbreaking songs and give them to Leevon to sing. While Yubs's voice is meant to be applauded and to leave us all in awe, Leevon's is meant to stomp on our hearts and shatter them into tiny little pieces.

"Paulit-ulit ang dalangin, pumapatak ang luha sa dilim."

With all the emotions bleeding out of his voice, how can this line not break you? Heartbreak is indeed universal. You are one with all the hearts that have been and will be broken in the whole wide world. You shed the same tears and repeat the same prayers. You wallow in the same pool of regrets.

"Sayang lang kung iiwanan mo."

And yet, is that a tiny glimmer of hope? Is it a plea or simply a reproach? Whatever it is, there's still some fire left in you. Laban lang, hindi pang habambuhay ang pagdurusa. 💪

Habambuhay

(; o tutuldok-kuwit)

As if to apologize for all the hurt in the previous song, they give us easy listening, bossa nova/jazzy feels, chilling on a Sunday morning, rainbows and butterflies, a healthy dose of serotonin, a magical balm to mend and soothe our broken hearts. This is the habambuhay most of us dream of and pray for, but only the fortunate few actually get.

"Noon pa man, alam ko na, nung una tayong magkita, ikaw ang iibigin ko't, walang iba."

While the other songs in the EP are riddled with feelings of doubt and despair, this song blasts you with brilliant unwavering unapologetic conviction of love and happiness from beginning to end that stuns you and even the most jaded into believing in forever again.

"Ikaw lang, sinta... habambuhay."

Like a tutuldok-kuwit, it's a complete statement with a promise of so much more. It's a shiny present and a vow for a bright future. Sana all. 😜

Kahit Manlang Sandali

(, o kuwit - ginagamit para panghiwalay ng mga magkakasunod na salita o ideya, at maaring gamitin pagkatapos ng bating pangwakas ng liham)

This one is not just a sad song; it is a life and love story. It is a little optimism, a little color in a gray world. It is for someone who has loved but has not totally lost, not just yet. It is for those hoping to be given a second chance.

"Mapatunayan na ang puso ko'y sayo hanggang huli" because ultimately, "hindi kasalanan ang mangarap ang nasasaktan".

"Kahapon lamang sumpa nating dalawa pag-ibig na walang hanggan. Bakit nagbago?"

Because, well, life can be a bitch sometimes. Not all forevers end up truly for ever. Historically, happy endings are a rarity. That's what makes them so special.

"Bago ka tuluyang mawala sa piling ko, pakinggan mong hinihiling nitong puso. Kahit man lang sandali."

It's a tale as old as time. It's a story of a once seemingly unending bonfire of a love, that fizzled out into a dying ember, that someone hasn't lost all hope of kindling back into a steady, if not a once more blinding, flame.

At tulad ng isang kuwit, ang awit na ito ay ang bating pangwakas nitong napakagandang liham ng pagmamahal na EP ng Side A.

Mga kababayan, sadyang napakasarap sa pandinig ng mga salita ng ating wika, lalong lalo na kung ang mga ito'y nasa loob ng mga awitin. I've always thought Tagalog songs are especially beautiful; and I am very happy and so soooooooo proud of Side A for the vision and the making of this album/EP.

All of the songs were mostly written by Ned (who, by the way, once said he found it hard to write Tagalog songs. [I have proof of this!] Ang galing lang mang-echos! 😆🫡); but clearly, everyone in the band (plus others) had a hand in it. Produced by Leevon (Lee Von) and Ned, vocal arrangements by Naldy, additional lyrics by Yubs and Leevon, and all songs arranged by Side A. This EP is a love letter, disguised as a musical masterpiece. How lucky am I to have read it! 💝

At kagaya ng isang tutuldok-tuldok (ellipsis), "magdarasal, maghihintay na lang" as we wait with bated breath for the next one. 😉

journal entry: Prague

9 Oct 2023, 7:51 PM - Prague

It's been a while, crocodile. (Note: I actually wrote this in the journal entry, but this is also true as far as travel entries in this blog go. 😁) Anyhoo...

I arrived in Prague last night, around 10:20 PM. But it was a really long day and felt like an even longer flight delay; I was too exhausted to write. So now I will recap the last two, well 3 days actually.

7 Oct

• I left the house early (8 AM) and was already at the airport 2.5 hours before my flight. I guess this is just the first hours of what will be many spent in airports that day.

• Arrived at the Toronto Airport around 2:30 PM, a comfortable 3-hour layover before my connecting flight to Vienna, or so I thought. After spending about 2 hours at a lounge (thank you, Priority Pass and Chase!), I thought I'd head over to the gate early in case there were announcements. Indeed, after a few minutes, there was: Flight delayed for 2 hours. There was an engine malfunction with the plane (not good), and they had to have another plane fly in from Winnipeg. They gave us a 15 CAD meal voucher as a peace offering... hurrah! *sarcastic cheer*

I thought I'd just go back to the lounge but the line to go in was about a mile long (not really but the exhaustion at this point warrants some exaggeration, I think). Lacking the patience to wait in line, I decided to walk for a bit. Plus, I thought I could get some steps in. After a few minutes of wandering aimlessly, I received another text update: Flight delayed 30 more minutes. Not long after that, another update 30 more minutes of delay. Well, crap.

I was going to miss my train to Prague. I booked it with almost 3 hours between my flight arrival and train departure, which I thought was plenty of time for the transfer, accounting for an hour or two of delay; but alas, it wasn't enough this time. 

After frantically looking for another train, I eventually found one; the earliest next available train actually leaving 6 hours after my original one. I was torn between booking right then in case they sold out (there were only a handful seats left) and worrying if we'd be delayed even more and I'll miss that also, and without refunds. So I waited a couple of hours and having received no additional delay updates, I booked the train. Looks like I will have a lot more waiting to do at the train station. Oh, well.

The hotel I booked in Prague didn't have 24-hr reception so I had to inform them that I will be arriving late. Fortunately, they had lockboxes for late checkin.

I am not going to bore you further with details of what I did at the airport for more than 6 hours; the important thing is I survived. 😄 

Man, even recounting that day is long. hahaha!

8 Oct

• After a restless plane ride (I never sleep well on airplanes anymore; unless, maybe if I'm in Business Class haha I wish!), we finally made it to Vienna around 12 PM. Immigration was fairly quick and uneventful (thank God!).

•  Took the train to the Vienna hbf (main train station) and... you guessed it, waited some more! At this point, I looked and felt like I haven't slept and showered for days. So I tried to look for a restroom... err, excuse me, a WC. And of course, when in Europe, you pay to use public toilets. Why, people, why?!! Anyway, after doing by business in the WC, I felt a little better but still looked like crap (can't be helped, I suppose haha). To make me feel a little bit better still, I decided to have some strudel at a cafe. It was ok.

strudel and some drink at a Vienna Hbf cafe

Got some Euros from a bankomat (ATM) -- see you gotta adapt to their words. 😏

Tried some leberkase (some kind of meatloaf [?] in a bun). Yummy!

After dozing off a few minutes at a time while seated and hours and hours of waiting, it was finally time for the train to Prague. *whew* 

•  The train to Prague was pretty good. I got a free bottled water and a choice of orange juice or prosecco. I picked the juice because I thought the wine might make me sick on the train. I realized later I should just have saved the wine to drink at the hotel. Oh, well.

• A little over 4 hours later, our train arrived in Prague. Got some Czech Korunas at the bankomat I googled days before -- no fees... sweet!

• Booked an Uber - the first one looked like it got lost a few time on its way to me so I waited a while and then had to cancel. Boy, when it rains, it certainly does pour. *sigh*  Anyway, the next Uber got to me pretty quickly so all's well that ends well. I guess.

• Arrived at the hotel - lockbox instructions were easy to follow, and had never been happier to see my room than I was at that moment. Shaking with exhaustion, I brushed my teeth, showered, and fell dreamily into bed. I would like to say, I fell asleep right away and woke up hours later well rested; but as usual, my mind was still busy planning the next day as well as, pointlessly overanalyzing the day's events.

9 Oct (today)

• My alarm was set to 6 AM. Because I lost the hours I would have been able to spend in Prague the day before, I now only had one whole day to do all the things I wanted to do in Prague. So after sleeping for what felt like only 2 hours (but it actually was 4.5 hours - I checked Fitbit hehe), I begrudgingly got up at 6:20 AM.

• Walked to Mustek Metro station -- I wanted to get a few single trip tickets in case the tram stops later won't have ticket machines. Then started Rick Steve's Prague City Walk (but starting in the middle because I planned to do the first part later that day): Prikope Street, Municipal House, Powder Tower, Old Town Square (really nice architecture around the square), Astronomical Clock (looks interesting and very complicated. From Wikipedia: "The clock mechanism has three main components – the astronomical dial, representing the position of the Sun and Moon in the sky and displaying various astronomical details; statues of various Catholic saints stand on either side of the clock; "The Walk of the Apostles", an hourly show of moving Apostle figures and other sculptures, notably a figure of a skeleton that represents Death, striking the time; and a calendar dial with medallions representing the months.", Karlova Street, Charles IV Square, and finally... (next entry please)

 

 

 

• Charles Bridge - lots of really beautiful statues on the bridge: the green cross, statue of St. John the Baptist, statue of another St. John who wouldn't tell the King the Queen's secret and so was thrown off the bridge, a statue with a plaque you're supposed to touch and make a wish. (I had planned to come back and go up one of the towers on the bridge later that day to view the sunset, but it rained so no sunset view anyway so I didn't go back.)

• Went back to the hotel for breakfast - it was good and had lots of choices for food.

• Took the tram to Prague Castle. (I got a free tour of the castle as reward from booking.com, along with the cruise that I missed the night before.) St Vitus Cathedral is beautiful - really nice arches inside and wonderful stained glass windows.

•  Took the tram again to Cafe Louvre to try some Svickova (braised beef with creamy sauce) -- good!! 😋 -- and some Royal Crown cola (their own version of Coke); and the service was excellent as well. Plus, Einstein used to go there so I feel kinda smart by association. 😅

• Walked to the rotating Kafka head sculpture but it was closed off temporarily to get fixed. 

•  Walked to the "Man Hanging Out" sculpture - David Cerny's statue of Sigmund Freud. It represents uncertainty and the question of what the millennium will look like. Fun Fact: this statue travelled a lot and in 2007, was in Grand Rapids, MI and caused some firefighters alarm - people got confused and thought it was a real man committing suicide.

•  Havelské tržiště - open market selling local fruits and vegetables and arts and crafts. There were also some souvenirs sold - found my magnet, as well as some cooked food - there were sausages that looked really good but I was still too full so I had a trdelnik instead -- yum!

• My legs and feet felt as heavy as lead so decided to go back to the hotel to get a bit of rest.

• Went back to the Astronomical Clock to see the hourly (9AM-9PM) "show". Oh and I got a kolache also.

• Walked to the Mustek station and took the metro to the start of Wenceslas Square (which is the start of the RS City Walk that I skipped earlier). It was raining most of the day but it was pouring at this point. Good thing I had my trusty travel umbrella. Started from Wenceslas statue on a horse - there was some sort of rally happening so I couldn't get a decent photo. Ended right at Mustek station. Took some pictures along the way.

And now I'm back at the hotel getting ready for the next stop of the trip tomorrow: Český Krumlov. I also need to log around 4.5 hours of work. boohoo. But what a long and busy day! And yet, there was a lot more I didn't get to do. 😢  Maybe I will come back someday. 🙏

Tomorrow, early bus (8 AM) to Český Krumlov.

Total walked today (9 Oct): 8.3 miles / 4 hr 13 min / 29, 296 steps

I cannot feel my feet.

Durog. Dinurog. Nadurog.

Tila humihinto ang aking panahon

Walang naririnig kundi huni ng ibong umaawit

Dinadala ng ihip ng hangin.

You peek into the room, head only, the rest of you still behind the door, checking to make sure it’s ok to enter. He sees you peek and he laughs, as if to an inside joke you unintentionally made. It warms your heart, and your mind freezes the moment for just a second. Long enough to save it there for a few weeks… oh, who are you kidding? That moment will probably play on repeat for years, maybe even forever.

Tila gumagandang lalo ang mga rosas

Sabay-sabay silang sumasayaw sa hampas ng hanging

Dumadampi at bumubulong sa ‘yo.

You are talking to someone else so you get momentarily distracted from being distracted by him. He is probably relieved you are not talking to him instead. As you are leaving, you thank everyone in the room. He says, “Thank you, Marchae.” For what, he doesn’t really elaborate. You assume realistically that it’s for coming to see them. But you belatedly, self-deprecatingly, think maybe it’s for not forcing him to talk to you. 😅

And yet the unspoken words are as loud to you as the spoken ones. You fill in the blanks and feed your delusions, like maybe you’ve done something so extraordinary and you’re so special to deserve that sweet sincerity in his smile and his eyes. But of course, deep down, you know he’s just genuinely kind. And you love him even more.

Tila ngumingiti ang araw sa umaga

Mga paru-paro’y naglalaro sa hampas ng hanging 

Dumadampi at bumubulong sa ‘yo.

Another night, you come to see them again. Because of some comments that night from others, you are feeling rather insecure about how you look - you look fat, your hair has a mind of its own, etc. You want to take a photo with the group but these feelings of insecurities want you to take a backseat. You ask anyway because it will be a while before you see them again, and besides, all five of them are there, you don’t want to miss the chance. As the picture is about to be taken, he moves from one side to stand closer to you, feeding your delusions some more, but making you feel so much better also. 

As you turn to say goodbye to them as a group, he is suddenly right in front of you (wishful thinking fuels your mind to suppose, to hope this is exactly why he moved), and he gives you a hug. Tight. Warm. Heartfelt. Not a conservative barely-touching-and-a-pat-on-the-back hug. A proper hug like he’s really sorry to see you go and will miss you a lot hug. You hang on like it’s Armageddon and there’s no tomorrow, and maybe just a beat too long. 😅 You leave before your fantasies take over your reality and you make a fool of yourself. 

But not before you commit that moment to memory; a moment that will live rent free in your mind for who knows how long.

 

Tila will always make you smile and think of him from now on.

Ohhh naririnig mo bang bulong ng puso ko

Ohhh binubulong ng hangin sa ‘yo

Sana nga ito ay marinig

Binubulong ng hangin ang laman nitong dibdib.

"It's storytelling. You're right.

I guess the question is: Do these stories convince us of a lie? Or do they resonate with something deep inside us that's profoundly true, that we can't express any other way except storytelling?"

-Father Jud. Wake Up Dead Man.

"We're all traveling through time together, every day of our lives. All we can do is do our best to relish this remarkable ride."

-About Time. 

"stood on a sea of pain. let it rain, let it rain, let it rain. I'll be back on my feet again 'cause I am a mountain."

-iAAM by Coldplay 

"Hate is a knife without a handle. You can't cut something with it without cutting yourself."

-Meg Shaffer. The Wishing Game.

"Yes, it's all in my head. But pain is 'all in my head' too. Love is 'all in my head'. All the things that matter in life are the things you can't measure! The things our brains make up! Being made-up doesn't make them unimportant."

-Brandon Sanderson. Lies of the Beholder.