Luntian

When I heard about Side A’s Green EP with all Tagalog/Filipino songs, I thought, well, why not write about said EP in Tagalog as well? Apparently, because it turns out I am not very good in expressing myself purely in Tagalog... that's why not.

I started writing an intro, and it turned into this whole other thing. I got sidetracked so bad, I had to hop on an airplane to get right back on track -- that is, I had a good chat with Ned (a genuine pleasure, always! And yes, I am perfectly aware of how privileged that sounds. And no, I do not and will not ever take that for granted.) and he said, they "don't really like resting on their laurels, and are always thinking of ways to keep the band and their music moving forward." And that's how, long story short, this all original all Filipino album/EP came into being.

Released exclusively on vinyl and sold (mostly) only at their live gigs, it is their unique way of showing appreciation and gratitude to their loyal supporters (and, I hope, of potentially meeting new ones) - because if you want a copy, you have to come meet them and see them perform live to get it. Can’t get any more personal and closer than that. 

But why the color green, I asked. Because green is the color of renewal and rebirth and growth, apt for releasing the EP when the last album released by Side A on vinyl was the Blue album. The last full album they released was Only 1 in 2009. So yeah, green is perfect. 💚

A little fun fact about the cover, and I learned this on a video that my sister recorded and sent to me during the EP launch event - each of the shapes we see on the cover represent each of the band members. The two rectangles in the background are Naldy and Ernie, ang mga haligi, standing tall and resilient through the years; Yubs the circle in the center to represent the face of the band, bravely meeting fate head-on; and Ned and Leevon the two squares on the side like wings or fins keeping the ship stable.

I think about all that thought and love (and maybe some sweat, blood, and tears) that they put into making this EP, and then I think, how the heck do I write something that will give all of that the credit it deserves? Ngunit, subalit paano? 😆

Ang ninanais ko lang naman ay mabigyan ng katugmang pagpapahalaga at akmang kapurihan na karapat-dapat ang EP na ito. Pero ikinalulungkot ko na sadyang kulang ang aking kaalaman at kakahayan para gawin ito ng tama, gusto ko man, na ganap sa ating sariling wika. Sa halip, hayaan ninyo akong ipahiwatig ang aking mga saloobin at mga iniisip ukol sa mga awit ng Green EP ng Side A sa pamamagitan ng mga bantas (punctuation marks), and in Taglish dahil yun lang po ang keri ko. 😅

Hanggang Kailan

(? o tandang pananong)

The strong bass and drums intro is as loud as the frustration that comes with the uncertainties of the early stages of a romantic relationship - the ligawan stage, if that's still a thing now.

"mahirap kalimutan, mahirap tanggapin, mahirap ang alipin sa damdamin"

That giddy hopeful feeling of being in love, of wanting to let go and let the feelings take over you, while just a teensy bit scared of being hurt. With all things new, comes the insecurity that this love might be unrequited after all.

"Di ko na maisip kung ano ang gagawin; pwede ba sabihin mo???"

Opo, ganyan kadaming question marks sa lyrics. And especially with all five of them singing, in perfect harmony if I might add, "hanggang kailan? hanggang saan?", dumadagundong ang mga tandang pananong sa awitin, loud and ironically very clear. 😁

Diwata

("" or panipi - ginagamit sa pagkulong ng mga salitang banyaga o ng mga feelings 😇)

I think that we all have that someone in our lives. The "dream". The one you’re happy to just put on a pedestal, the man/woman of your dreams, the best you never had. After all, if they're up there, they can only feed your fantasies and delusions; they cannot reach you and hurt you.

"Ang kanyang haplos at ang kanyang mga halik, dalangin ko, sana pagpikit ko'y bumalik."

Yet there's something sadly unconditional about this too. You adore them, but you don't really expect or want anything in return; you're perfectly happy to just be in the same realm, kahit ito'y sa panaginip lamang.

"Sya, sya ang aking liwanag sa dilim."

Sa kadiliman ng buhay, minsan ang kailangan mo lang naman ay ang makaramdam ng kakaunting pag-asa. Hope springs eternal. Walang masama at libre nga naman ang mangarap, ika nga. 🤗

Sayang Lang

(! o tandang padamdam - ginagamit para tapusin ang pangungusap na nagsasaad ng matindi or masidhing damdamin)

I swear, they pick the most heartbreaking songs and give them to Leevon to sing. While Yubs's voice is meant to be applauded and to leave us all in awe, Leevon's is meant to stomp on our hearts and shatter them into tiny little pieces.

"Paulit-ulit ang dalangin, pumapatak ang luha sa dilim."

With all the emotions bleeding out of his voice, how can this line not break you? Heartbreak is indeed universal. You are one with all the hearts that have been and will be broken in the whole wide world. You shed the same tears and repeat the same prayers. You wallow in the same pool of regrets.

"Sayang lang kung iiwanan mo."

And yet, is that a tiny glimmer of hope? Is it a plea or simply a reproach? Whatever it is, there's still some fire left in you. Laban lang, hindi pang habambuhay ang pagdurusa. 💪

Habambuhay

(; o tutuldok-kuwit)

As if to apologize for all the hurt in the previous song, they give us easy listening, bossa nova/jazzy feels, chilling on a Sunday morning, rainbows and butterflies, a healthy dose of serotonin, a magical balm to mend and soothe our broken hearts. This is the habambuhay most of us dream of and pray for, but only the fortunate few actually get.

"Noon pa man, alam ko na, nung una tayong magkita, ikaw ang iibigin ko't, walang iba."

While the other songs in the EP are riddled with feelings of doubt and despair, this song blasts you with brilliant unwavering unapologetic conviction of love and happiness from beginning to end that stuns you and even the most jaded into believing in forever again.

"Ikaw lang, sinta... habambuhay."

Like a tutuldok-kuwit, it's a complete statement with a promise of so much more. It's a shiny present and a vow for a bright future. Sana all. 😜

Kahit Manlang Sandali

(, o kuwit - ginagamit para panghiwalay ng mga magkakasunod na salita o ideya, at maaring gamitin pagkatapos ng bating pangwakas ng liham)

This one is not just a sad song; it is a life and love story. It is a little optimism, a little color in a gray world. It is for someone who has loved but has not totally lost, not just yet. It is for those hoping to be given a second chance.

"Mapatunayan na ang puso ko'y sayo hanggang huli" because ultimately, "hindi kasalanan ang mangarap ang nasasaktan".

"Kahapon lamang sumpa nating dalawa pag-ibig na walang hanggan. Bakit nagbago?"

Because, well, life can be a bitch sometimes. Not all forevers end up truly for ever. Historically, happy endings are a rarity. That's what makes them so special.

"Bago ka tuluyang mawala sa piling ko, pakinggan mong hinihiling nitong puso. Kahit man lang sandali."

It's a tale as old as time. It's a story of a once seemingly unending bonfire of a love, that fizzled out into a dying ember, that someone hasn't lost all hope of kindling back into a steady, if not a once more blinding, flame.

At tulad ng isang kuwit, ang awit na ito ay ang bating pangwakas nitong napakagandang liham ng pagmamahal na EP ng Side A.

Mga kababayan, sadyang napakasarap sa pandinig ng mga salita ng ating wika, lalong lalo na kung ang mga ito'y nasa loob ng mga awitin. I've always thought Tagalog songs are especially beautiful; and I am very happy and so soooooooo proud of Side A for the vision and the making of this album/EP.

All of the songs were mostly written by Ned (who, by the way, once said he found it hard to write Tagalog songs. [I have proof of this!] Ang galing lang mang-echos! 😆🫡); but clearly, everyone in the band (plus others) had a hand in it. Produced by Leevon (Lee Von) and Ned, vocal arrangements by Naldy, additional lyrics by Yubs and Leevon, and all songs arranged by Side A. This EP is a love letter, disguised as a musical masterpiece. How lucky am I to have read it! 💝

At kagaya ng isang tutuldok-tuldok (ellipsis), "magdarasal, maghihintay na lang" as we wait with bated breath for the next one. 😉

"stood on a sea of pain. let it rain, let it rain, let it rain. I'll be back on my feet again 'cause I am a mountain."

-iAAM by Coldplay 

"Could you be someone I've known all along? Maybe we passed in a crowded street, never knowing you were where I belong.

And I wait another thousand years."

-One Wish. Side A.

Caught In A Daze by Side A

About this time last year, I wrote about a song about being ghosted ("Clueless" incidentally just won Best Ballad Recording at the recent Awit Awards!). Now, I’m writing about a song about living the dream. It’s a total 180, I got whiplash.

One day you’re singing the national anthem of the broken-hearted, the next you’re the f’ing king of the land of rainbows and unicorns. 

But such is life, isn’t it? It’s full of ups and downs; it is one roller coaster ride after another; it’s one big jumble of emotions, maybe even sometimes all at the same time. And apparently, so are the fascinating brilliant mind of one Ned Esguerra and the musical genius of Side A. 

“I’m caught in a daze and it’s amazing
I’m lost in your gaze and I’m so crazy about you
And though life’s not the same as before
I wouldn’t want to change it
Coz I’m caught in a daze and I’m so amazed by you.”

It’s the “Happy Ever After” most of us spend our lives yearning for, but only the lucky few actually get. The song makes you appreciate your relationships even more... it makes you realize never to take things or each other for granted. At least I hope it does. 

“You are the air I breathe.
You are the song I sing.”

Lines so incredibly sweet, they should come with a Diabetes warning label. 😆 But music heals the soul, so they say, and with SideA music, you’re especially treated to musical harmony at its best, guaranteed to cure even the most stubborn diseases (FDA approval pending 😅).

It’s funny… for those who are not among the romantically fortunate, “Caught In A Daze” should make you want to hurl things at a wall or at somebody (or at smiling happy couples 😅😂); but the song is just so easy to listen to, it actually somehow soothes you like a warm bath after a long exhausting day or like you’re chilling at home with a good book or like you’re cruising alone on a highway where road rages never ever existed. It is just such a feel good song, you can’t help but smile and just gently sway to the music.

To a point, it offers one a glimmer of hope... something to dream about. After all, surely life is sadder without having dreams to live for.

"It's not really clear how we found each other here; maybe it’s magic."

Well, it’s not really clear how we find ourselves here, listening to another mesmerizing song by Side A. Maybe it’s the band’s chemistry. Maybe it’s pure talent. Maybe it’s resilience and hard work. Maybe it’s because they’re all just really wonderful human beings. Maybe it’s all of those. And yes, maybe it is also magic.

Do yourself a favor and listen to it on Spotify. You’re welcome!

"I let myself want you

I let myself try

I let myself fall back into your eyes 

I let myself want you

I let myself hope

I let myself feel things I know that you don't"

-A Little Bit Yours. JP Saxe.

clueless and angry

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, believe it or not, "ghosting" is the act or practice of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone usually without explanation by no longer accepting or responding to phone calls, instant messages, etc.

SideA’s new song “Clueless” is a perfect depiction of the whirlwind of emotions in someone left… well, clueless. It will break your heart into tiny little pieces, by the time the song ends, you won’t even have a chance to pick them all up and put them back together before you listen to the song again. Why? Because you’ll just want to and, let’s face it, we are all a little masochistic at heart. 😆

"Is it over now? Does your silence mean a thing? Is it really right to keep me wondering? If it's over now, please tell me. I don't wanna read your mind."

"It's cold outside your window as I wait for your reply. If you can't provide the truth, then I would settle for some lies."

Not the best feeling in the world, being ghosted or being left in the dark. It cripples you with self-doubt, makes you question your worth. You start to bargain for lies, instead of asking fairly for the truth, just to get something, anything from them. Even if it breaks you.

And if you're lucky, someday, after a few weeks or months or years even, maybe you'll get an explanation (some half truths, excuses in disguise) their conscience has somehow guilted them (or perhaps boredom has motivated them) into telling you. Ugh. F that. Do not fall for the same bs over again. (Oops. Sorry, this may have reopened wounds and unleashed pandora's monsters in me. 😳😏🤪)

"You can break my heart and say goodbye but please just tell me why."

🥺😭

That's got to be one of the saddest things you'll ever hear. It's so heart-wrenching. Even the vocals in this song seem lonely, one voice alone with barely any backup. And the music, the melancholy just begs you to let all the tears out. And yet, listening to the song, it also somehow reminds you that you're not alone even when you are. A kind of solidarity across the miles in our aloneness. 

I suppose it's a lot more common than one would expect -- there are millions of assholes people out there who just leave without a word, and millions more who get left behind, clueless.

To those ghosts, may you live long miserable lives (and yes, irony intended)... do better, be better.

And to the clueless ones who are waiting outside windows (metaphorically or literally), if they've let you wait out in the cold that long, maybe you're better off without them. So maybe it’s time to get back in your car and drive away. Make sure to buckle up because it's gonna be one bumpy ride. Be strong. Have faith. Sooner than you think, that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel will appear. After all, there was one thing left behind inside pandora's box -- Hope. 

P.S. I know I know, too angry. I will write another one, much calmer this time. Maybe. 😅

"Are you the definition of insanity?

Or am I?

It must be nice to love someone who lets you break them twice." 

"pain throws your heart to the ground 

love turns the whole thing around

no, it won't all go the way it should

but I know the heart of life is good."

-the heart of life. John Mayer.

"been looking for words for feelings that shouldn't get spoken....

I'm starting to learn some silences shouldn't be broken, just listened to."

-The Forever Now. This Is Us.

"i know you didn't bring me out here to drown

so why am i ten feet under and upside down?"

-lifehouse. storm.

I just heard this song again after a long while and it reminded me how I used to obsess about jason wade. 😅

there's just something so deeply poignant about this song too. plus it's mostly a capella, which probably adds to the melancholy of it all. and Jason's voice... aaaahh 😍😍 makes me want to obsess all over again. almost. maybe? 😁

No More Tears

I tell myself I can make it

I’m trying hard to be strong 

Guess it’s hard to believe in my lies

That I would be okay

That I would be fine without you

Tried running away from the memories

Taking a step into another place

But then all I can see is your face

Oh, I still miss you

I feel so lost without you

Save me the night

Let this dream take me back

And look in your eyes once again 

Save me

Save me

I’m brushing my sadness aside

Yeah, no more tears tonight 

And I’ll, I’ll move on soon I know

But I still miss you

I feel so lost without you

Save me the night

Let this dream take me back

And look in your eyes once again 

Save me the night

I’ll look for that star and wish you back in my arms again

Save me the night

And dream you’re with me as I close my eyes

Would you love me still?

Will you love me still?

Save me the night

Let this dream take me back 

So I can look in your eyes once again

Save me the night

I’ll look for that star

And wish you back in my arms again 

Save me the night

Save me the night

Save me the night

Save me the night

Save me

Save me

-No More Tears. Side A feat. Keiko Necesario

**********************

First of all, I just have to say that I really like the album art and the lyric video - simple yet elegant and classy.

I must admit, I didn't fully appreciate this song the first time I heard it. It was good and I liked it; I just wasn't blown away by it. Yet. 

I think though that this is more a testament to how good they have been and can be - they've set the bar so high even for themselves. 

But the more I listened to the song, the more I realized, much like the lyrics or perhaps because of the lyrics, how deeply poignant the music is. The song breaks your heart slowly and you don't even notice until you're looking at the million little pieces. 

It’s been a while, I think, since they recorded a duet with other artists (Year 12?) but wow Yubs and Keiko sound really good together! That's hardly surprising though; if there ever were gods of harmonizing, those would be them - Side A - and this song does not disappoint. We get a healthy dose of vocal and musical harmony... a perfect blend of melancholy and longing, with a dash of resolve.

“Save me the night

And dream you’re with me as I close my eyes.

Would you love me still?

Will you love me still?”

What a difference a verb tense makes.

Some sad love songs sound wistful, others hopeful. This song manages to be both. It’s like listening to a broken-hearted person willing themselves to let go with one hand while unconsciously holding on with the other.

It’s confusing. It’s heart breaking. It’s tragically beautiful.

*****

Listen to/Stream/Buy the song on spotify, itunes, amazon, google, and at your local sari-sari store (maybe).

And watch the lyric video on youtube. Because it’s awesome. And to help them get more views. 😜

when you see me smile

the smile on your face is like a multi-colored rainbow
it brightens up a cloudy day
your eyes are like the diamonds that illuminate the sky
when i've lost my way

and i just wanted to tell you
that i'm thankful everyday
coz my life is better than it was before
and it's you i'm thankful for

when you see me smile when i'm down and blue
the smile i make is because of you
when you see me smile and tears still fall
those tears of joy are all your fault
i'm so glad you're in my life
you are the reason

your embrace is like the comfort of the pillows on my bed
when i feel tired
and your voice calling out my name is sweeter than
the songs that angels sing

and i just wanted to say
that i'm thankful everyday
coz my life is better than it was beforehh
and it's you i'm thankful for

so when you see me smile when i'm down and blue
the smile i make is because of you
when you see me smile and tears still fall
those tears of joy are all your fault
i'm so glad you're in my life. 
you are the reason 

my life began when you arrived


-when you see me smile. chamberwheel.


****


such a sweet song. no cryptic messages. no ambiguous lyrics. simple, sincere, and straight to the point - just words that come from the heart and go straight to your soul.

in a world where we are too often overcome by all the negativity, we need more of songs like this that just radiate good vibes and happiness.

how i have never heard of this song until today is beyond comprehension. i'm disappointed in myself. and i call myself a fan. tsk.
and why is this not a sideA song?!

anyway....i think i've come to a point where i think any song with leevon singing in it is magical. i wish i could save his voice in a bottle and listen to it any time i want. that actually sounds a bit creepy. 😂 

"and your voice calling out my name is sweeter than the songs that angels sing."  

indeed.

One day

Sometimes I lay
Under the moon
And thank God I'm breathing
Then I pray
Don't take me soon
'Cause I am here for a reason

Sometimes in my tears I drown
But I never let it get me down
So when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around because...

All my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
For the people to say
That we don't wanna fight no more
There will be no more wars
And our children will play

One day, one day

It's not about
Win or lose
'Cause we all lose
When they feed on the souls of the innocent
Blood-drenched pavement
Keep on moving though the waters stay raging

In this maze you can lose your way (your way)
It might drive you crazy but don't let it faze you, no way (no way)

...

One day this all will change
Treat people the same
Stop with the violence
Down with the hate

One day we'll all be free
And proud to be
Under the same sun
Singing songs of freedom like

Wayoo, wayoo

...

One day, one day...

“and as the long long nights begin
i think of all that might have been
waiting here for evermore.”

I could hold on for a hundred years
When all else is gone
I would still be here
In a memory of things yet unseen
I'd remember all that we've never been
And I cannot wait to see
What life has in store for me

In another lifetime
It would be forever
In another world
Where you and I
Could be together
In another set of chances
I'd take the ones I've missed
And make you mine
If only for a time
My life would matter
In another life

And I'd stay as strong and I'd stay as true
And you'd have forever now to think it through
Coz I do believe what wasn't meant to be
Wasn't meant for now and
Someday you'll see
In a place and time we never knew
I'll be standing there waiting for you

You would be mine
But until that time is now
I'd be holding on somehow

But until that time
I'll be holding onto forever
Until another life


- In another lifetime by Gary Valenciano

"If you were here right now
I would hold you tight
And I'd wish this night would last forevermore.

...

It doesn't matter near or far
I just wanna be right there where you are"


if i were not on vacation in the Philippines right now, surrounded by family and friends, i would be bawling like a child. so much longing and missing.  
it does remind me of one person though... i won't say who but his initials are jb. mwahaha! 

i want to write more about this song, but right now i'm just too happy....i think i need to be sad and homesick or heartbroken for this. hahaha

pangarap

"Sa pangarap lang makakamtam ang inaasam
Sa pangarap lang malalasap ang saya nitong aking buhay
Sa pangarap lang maghihintay
Sa pangarap aking mahal
Doon ako'y maghihintay
Aking mahal..."

"I could make you happy,

make your dreams come true.

Nothing that I wouldn't do,

go to the ends of the Earth for you,

to make you feel my love."

how long will i

"how long will i love you? 

as long as the stars are above you, and longer if i can.

how long will i need you? 

as long as the seasons need to follow their plan.

how long will i want you? 

as long as you want me to, and longer by far."

pangarap lang

"mabuti pa sa lotto, may pag-asang manalo. di tulad sa yo, imposible.
...
kahit mahal kita, wala akong magagawa.
tanggap ko, oh aking sinta, pangarap lang kita."

oh my heart... (from eb fb page)