"Sometimes it's too easy to forget the things you should remember -- and far too easy to remember the things you really should forget."

-Brandon Sanderson. Cytonic.

"i know you didn't bring me out here to drown

so why am i ten feet under and upside down?"

-lifehouse. storm.

I just heard this song again after a long while and it reminded me how I used to obsess about jason wade. 😅

there's just something so deeply poignant about this song too. plus it's mostly a capella, which probably adds to the melancholy of it all. and Jason's voice... aaaahh 😍😍 makes me want to obsess all over again. almost. maybe? 😁

bit by bit you are breaking 

these walls i have been building. 

yet when they are finally down

you are nowhere to be found.

just when i thought i've lost all faith in men (and sometimes in humanity), i talk to you and everything is right in the world again.

"You followed your conscience in the hope that others would follow theirs. You didn't do it for a reward or a pat on the head. The universe never tells us if we did right or wrong. It's more important to try and help people than to know that you did. More important that someone else's life gets better than for you to feel good about yourself. You never know the effect you might have on someone, not really. Maybe one core thing you said haunts them forever. Maybe one moment of kindness gives them comfort or courage. Maybe you said the one thing they needed to hear. It doesn't matter if you ever know. You just have to try."

-Naomi Nagata. The Expanse.

unfinished

words on paper 

love letters to fill the weeks in between 

exchanging stories of new adventures 

both excited for the new life each would begin.

did i imagine the longing on those pages?

words over the phone

calls stretching for hours, minutes whizzing by

talking about everything and nothing, 

years since the unspoken goodbye.

did i imagine the tenderness in your voice?

words online

screens lit up with messages, photos, memes

reflections on life and regrets and dreams 

roads not taken and what might have been.

did i imagine the meaning of your words?

oceans, islands, continents 

distance ever between us, 

always a million miles apart. 

seconds, hours, decades 

time moving too fast,

never ever seems to be enough. 

memories carved into a corner of my heart,

like lovers initials on a tree bark.

forever etched. forever scarred.

words over dinner,

a decade and a half since the last.

almost half strangers sharing food and stories and laughs. 

a lovely walk past buildings and bridges i barely noticed. 

a warm embrace. 

a kiss goodnight. 

did i imagine that one perfect night?

words. was it all just words?

did i only imagine everything that was us?

Onward. Forward.

"You're strong! You survive! You stay alive, no matter what occurs. I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far. I will find you."

-Hawkeye. The Last of the Mohicans.

"Save me the night.

Let this dream take me back

and look in your eyes once again. 

Save me the night.

I'll look for that star 

and wish you back in my arms again.

Save me the night.

And dream you're with me as I close my eyes."

-No more tears. Side A feat. Keiko Necesario.

Been in a senti/hugot mode lately, but enough of that. For now.

For now, I look forward. Onward. 

The world's currently a mess, I know, but there will always be some bad no matter how good life may seem. The trick is to look for the things that make you happy, because, yes, even with the bad, there are always always some good too. Maybe even more. And that's something to be grateful for.

As Ted Lasso would say, "Be happy, be a goldfish."