chaechae meets world: November 2015

when all around me all my friends have happy lovelives, i find myself wrapped up in my own little world of alden&maine kiligness... and then i realize i don't mind as much anymore.

"maybe now i'm ready to be found." - this line keeps hitting me hard every time i hear it.

sometimes i feel it's too late for me now, that maybe i've given enough love and have taken enough of it for one lifetime. that maybe what i've had was all i ever deserved. and i think i have accepted this for the most part.

yet at other times, i give in to wishful thinking and hope that maybe, just maybe there's still someone else out there. the one. the one i'm meant to love and who will love me back...unsparingly...equally...for the rest of our lives. someone who will look at me like he can't believe i'm right in front of him, unblinking, unwilling to miss a single moment. those times, i dare to think that maybe i deserve more. and those times i can't afford to let happen too often.

and then there are times i just go through the motions. unfeeling. uncaring. when i look back on those times, i want to slap myself for being an ungrateful little brat.

i love my life. i really do. i have received more blessings than i ever hoped for and am more fortunate than a lot of people out there. so i'm not complaining. really. i'm just feeling sentimental at the moment. i blame it on the flurries i see outside my window. ;p

i've travelled many roads, figuratively and literally, but i am so far from done. our lives are meant to be lived. and yes, there is still so much...so much more to live for.

i have been trying to think of the best introduction for this blog post the past few days.

i wanted it to say how much i appreciate having this chance... how grateful i am to just even be given time out of his busy schedule.
i wanted it to say how very accommodating he was (and always is)... how brilliant a conversationalist, always generous with his answers... how he really is just a super nice guy. in fact, he was so much fun and so easy to talk to, i had to remind myself a few times that i was talking to a celebrity (though he insists he is not one).

but then i realized it doesn't really matter what i wanted to say because this post is not at all about me.

sooooo... without further ado, it is with great honor and utmost pleasure that I bring you... *insert drum roll here*.... Mr. Ned Esguerra, bassist extraordinaire of Side A!

(99.99% unedited answers - kinda hard to edit when they're quite impressive as they are)

Me: Where were you when SideA started in 1985?
Ned: Hmmm, I was 11 and not even close to getting started in music. I got hooked in junior high, played keyboards in bands for 2 years then shifted to bass just before heading off to college in U. P. I discovered Side A while listening to the radio and Eva Marie was playing. But prior to that, I was a huge Neocolours fan.

Me: What other musical instruments do you play? And what made you finally decide on the bass?
Ned: I play a little bit of guitar but my main instrument is really the keyboards. I feel like I'm a better keyboard player than bassist. Just before graduating high school, our bassist was becoming too busy to play with us for school events and other gigs so I ended up filling in for him.
My father was a bassist as well, playing and touring the world professionally in a band in the 60's so I had easy access to a bass guitar all the time. I enjoyed playing bass more than the keyboards because I get to stand and move around. Plus it was a lighter load to bring to work compared to heavy and long keyboards.

Me: Ang galing naman! Medyo nakaka-overwhelm and medyo na-intimidate ako sa sagot mo hehehe. Anong band ni father?
Ned: My dad played bass for a group called "The Six Halves". Some trivia for you - my dad always told me the story of how their band was the very first to have a musical show on television during the early years of abs cbn. Too bad there aren't any archived footages of the show.

Me: Do you still remember your UP student number? What was your major in UP?

Ned: Sadly I don't remember my student # but 92 ang umpisa.

I studied Music majoring in Composition for 3 years then I stopped to become a working musician.

Technically dapat 91 ako but I needed 1 year in the extension program before taking the Music entrance exam so I ended up officially being in school 92 na.

I never really got into my course seriously. Partly because I was really disappointed that the year I got in was the year Ryan Cayabyab decided he wanted to leave already. Bwiset! He was the very reason I was in "UP or bust" mode. All I wanted was to learn songwriting from the very best. Too bad for me, he left. So I lost focus and motivation and ended up just floating around campus, goofing off and eventually fading out of the picture.

Me: Awww sorry to hear that. But you ended up making great music anyway. So ok pa din. I get it though, I would have been disappointed myself. My UP days were some of the best in my life....dahil dun ko nakilala ang SideA. char...pero medyo totoo...hehe.

Ned: Hahaha! Actually, Side A din ang highlight of my college years. That was when I seriously stalked them sa gigs and concerts and had the best time just enjoying their music.

Me: So after UP, did you join a band? Or were you already in a band?

Ned: I was already in a band when I left UP. Thankfully we were doing gigs and earning already so my parents didn't raise a howl when I stopped school. Whew!

Me: What type of music did your band play?

Ned: Our band back then was called Freeverse. We were formed in 95 and as luck would have it, we fronted for Side A in Ateneo during the Forevermore Campus tour and that's where we got "discovered" by Lito Fugoso who was Side A's manager that time. He signed us and we ended up being under the same management for a few years.

Super Side A wannabe kami noon so yung songs namin were pretty much the same as theirs. Mga idol namin sila as in.

Ned with his former band, Freeverse

Me: Awww tapos ngayon part ka na ng SideA...destiny. :)

Ned: Yeah. Astig nga eh. It had always been my dream to be in a band just like Side A. I didn't actually think I'd be part of it now. How wonderful is that?!?! Unreal!!!

Me: Do you still find it that way sometimes even now? That everything seems unreal?

Ned: Always. Of course certain aspects have changed my perceptions... but on the whole it's been pretty amazing.

Me: What was your favorite SideA song before joining SideA?

Ned: All time favorite ko syempre Forevermore. One of those "darn, I wish I had written that" kind of songs but basically I loved all their songs from the 1st album up until the Year 12 cd. Pero favorites ko talaga yung songs in the 1st,White and Blue albums.

Me: How did you end up joining SideA?

Ned: You know what, until now I'm actually still miffed at how exactly I ended up where I am now. But the simplified version of the story would be that Joey Benin had made his intentions of leaving the band known already and then the remaining members discussed what they wanted to do. There was actually a time when they were contemplating stopping altogether. Luckily and thankfully they decided to go on and I ended up as the candidate to replace Joey B. My being in a sort of "brother band" had a lot to do with that decision for sure. And so here I am, luckier than anyone else I know. Hahaha!

Me: Speaking of JoeyB...did he ever join you guys again in a gig after he left? I remember there was a TV special where he played with you again, but other than that?

Ned: He would just jam a song. But very rarely. Yeah, that was for TV5's New Year Special and someone from the network asked if he could join us on Forevermore. There was also a concert in Bacolod where he sang I Believe In Dreams and then one time, sa bar ni Willie Revillame, he and Kelly jammed on Tuloy Pa Rin. Syempre enjoy kami ni Leevon while watching the Fab 5 one more time.

Me: Awww that would have been awesome to watch.

Ned: Oh indeed it was! Hehe

Ned and Joey Benin - (c) Ned

Me: What inspires you to write a song? And which usually comes first? Yun lyrics or yun music?

Ned: People inspire me and the different situations and circumstances they find themselves in. Mostly love stories, happy and sad. Usually when I write, sabay yung lyrics and music.

I used to write a ton of sad love songs and most of the time people think it's me and how I feel that I write about but it's not. A lot of the earlier songs I wrote were about friends of mine or just me trying to create situations in my mind that I can write about.

Oh and also, I get inspired a lot by song titles or lyrics, phrases or sentences that to me stand out when I read them or hear them. I'm a sucker for words that are put together really well. Not talking about grand works of literature here, but even just everyday lingo. Minsan may magandang mga salita na somehow tumatatak saken and then inspired nako to expand on the idea to make a song.

... certain words that I encounter really stand out and stick with me. From Sesame Street to today's TV, Movies and whatever, basta may kakaiba na salita inaalam ko tapos pag nakatuwaan ko, gusto ko nagagamit.

I love watching TV, reading interesting articles or news stories, etc. But I am in no way a bookworm. Mahilig din ako sa trivia lalo na about sports and you'd be surprised that there are actually some very outstanding sportswriters na masarap basahin.

Me: Do you find it harder to write tagalog songs or do you just prefer (or maybe are more comfortable with) English songs?

Ned: Definitely harder for me to write tagalog songs because I don't have a good grasp of truly the meaningful and profound words.

Songs by Ryan Cayabyab, Rey Valera, George Canseco, Soc Villanueva and other composers with similar tastes for beautiful tagalog words are people I most want to emulate when I write tagalog songs :)

I'm a bit more comfortable writing english songs probably because I feel more confident in my english vocabulary :)

Me: Given your family's musical background, I think it was inevitable you'd end up in the music business. But what would you have been if you hadn't been in music? Like, did you have another dream job growing up?

Ned: Either a lawyer or a journalist for the simple reason that I always thought I could express myself well and with confidence that I have somewhat of a decent command of good grammar and correct syntax. Hahaha! Siguro naman napansin mo na na mahilig ako dumaldal. Hehehe

Me: What is the one thing that you really want to do that you haven't been able to do yet? Tipong pang bucket list ganun.
Ned: I want to be in a steel cage underwater watching a great white shark.

Me: Favorite city ever visited and why?

Ned: I've been to a few but not nearly enough. hehehe but so far... toss up between Singapore and NY/NJ, for sentimental reasons kasi I have tons of wonderful memories with my family in those cities :)

Me: Place you would really love to see someday?

Ned: Europe :)

Me: Last song played on your phone?

Ned: "Tunay Na Ligaya" by Basil Valdez

Me: Last movie you watched?

Ned: "Ricki And The Flash" starring Merryl Streep

Me: Favorite aldub song?

Ned: Forevermore

Me: aside from Forevermore

Ned: Dessert :)

Me: Favorite color? (hahaha pang slumbook)

Ned: black or blue

Me: Can you take a selfie doing the pabebe wave?

Ned: hahaha! yan ang hindi ko kayang gawin sorry

Me: hahahahahaha oh well worth a try

Ned: hahaha pag ginawa ni Leevon, saka ko lang gagawin. hehe :)

Me: hahaha nandamay pa... sabay na lang kayo ;)

who knows maybe someday... but until then, i leave you with this photo (credit to owner of original photo grabbed from Ned's timeline photos). oh those hands...those hands are calling for mad photo-editing skills i don't have. ;)